In Bailey's Memory
It has been nearly six weeks since I got that call from the clinic early in the morning with the bad news--Bailey had died. I think I was in shock the first day and managed to get through it quite well. The days after that have not been as easy. I still can't believe that Bailey died, and I can hear her little sounds, feel her soft ears and the coarser fur associated with her ticking, and see the different expressions on her face knowing which each one meant-- be it I'm hungry, come sit with me--stop doing art, or I need to go out. She always knew when something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and she really hated it when anyone argued--she would run upstairs and go lay on my bed.
We felt that Bella, our puppy, would like some company so we adopted a one year old rescue beagle from Tennessee that we named Amelia. The two have great fun playing together either wrestling each other or runnning around the house parallel holding the same toy in their mouths. They are double trouble, however, often finding things to chew on that are not chew toys : ) Amelia reminds me of Bailey somewhat due to her ticking. The thing is though, that as much as I do love Bella and Amelia they are not Bailey--I just don't have the connection with them yet that was built up over the seven years that we had Bailey in our lives.
Bailey died of multiple organ failure (liver, kidneys, lungs, and bone marrow) due to the lymphoma. She had a blast crisis due to multi drug resistant lymphoma. The prednisone, chemo. treatments, and blood transfusions could not get her back into remission which is often the case in dogs--they don't go into a second remission. It did look as though the DLI was working as there was evidence of an immune system reaction building up in Bailey, but sadly the lymphoma won out.
I have her ashes in an urn on the mantel along with her picture and the only Christmas ornament I bought last Christmas, a beagle angel. I am not so sure the ashes were a good idea as I could not take the urn out of the box for weeks. Bailey is back home, just not the way I had hoped. We may spread her ashes around Green Lake where we walked daily every morning and take some to Rockaway Beach in OR--sadly this year's writing in the visitor cabin journal will not be full of hope as it was the past two summers. I am not sure I really even want to go back.
So I am sad, and it doesn't take much to bring tears. Life is just not fair! (I am just not sure how many people there are who have worked as hard as I did to save their pet) . However, Dr. Sullivan's first and third transplant dogs are doing well. If I had to do it all over I would have done nothing different. Dr. Sullivan gave us hope! Yes, it is disappointing that we spent a lot of money and put so much time and energy into locating Bailey's family members with the hope of finding her a donor match, that the transplant didn't work. You see, Bailey really did not have a suitable match--Clifford's stem cells were too close to Bailey's--transplants don't work so well with identical twins either--that Bailey did not develop any GVH disease, though too much is fatal, some is needed to kill off tumor cells. Because we only had a blood sample from Bailey's mother as her father is dead we were not really sure how close of a match Clifford was--98% was the guess.
The only thing that gives me comfort is in Bailey's memory I am putting my time and energy with others into putting a donor registry in place for dogs, cats as well, (this can be accomplished by using the pets that are donors at the many pet blood banks across the country) and see a transplant center built in W. Washington. Lymphoma is the third most common cancer in dogs. Work is being done on this as we speak, but as with everything it will take funding. Not a day goes by when I meet someone who either lost a dog to this terrible disease or knows someone who has. As more and more transplants are done cost should go down--most likely tranplants will be covered by pet insurance. Even though I had access to information on Bailey's family members, many pet owners do not. I did not have an easy time in locating her siblings--it took me over a year--sadly the only donor match she had proved to be too close of one which is why the transplant did not work.
Losing Bailey has been like losing my child--she was a family member. She will always be with me in my heart. Bailey was the best--a courageous little dog who wanted to live, but the lymphoma was stronger than both our wills for her to do so.. Her lifespan was cut in short by half. Every time I look at my wrist I see my tattoo bracelet of a single forget-me-not flower and the word Serendiptiy--her AKC registered name was Serendipitous Bailey Girl. I so do hope my dream becames a reality! I never want to lose another pet to this terrible disease again!
We felt that Bella, our puppy, would like some company so we adopted a one year old rescue beagle from Tennessee that we named Amelia. The two have great fun playing together either wrestling each other or runnning around the house parallel holding the same toy in their mouths. They are double trouble, however, often finding things to chew on that are not chew toys : ) Amelia reminds me of Bailey somewhat due to her ticking. The thing is though, that as much as I do love Bella and Amelia they are not Bailey--I just don't have the connection with them yet that was built up over the seven years that we had Bailey in our lives.
Bailey died of multiple organ failure (liver, kidneys, lungs, and bone marrow) due to the lymphoma. She had a blast crisis due to multi drug resistant lymphoma. The prednisone, chemo. treatments, and blood transfusions could not get her back into remission which is often the case in dogs--they don't go into a second remission. It did look as though the DLI was working as there was evidence of an immune system reaction building up in Bailey, but sadly the lymphoma won out.
I have her ashes in an urn on the mantel along with her picture and the only Christmas ornament I bought last Christmas, a beagle angel. I am not so sure the ashes were a good idea as I could not take the urn out of the box for weeks. Bailey is back home, just not the way I had hoped. We may spread her ashes around Green Lake where we walked daily every morning and take some to Rockaway Beach in OR--sadly this year's writing in the visitor cabin journal will not be full of hope as it was the past two summers. I am not sure I really even want to go back.
So I am sad, and it doesn't take much to bring tears. Life is just not fair! (I am just not sure how many people there are who have worked as hard as I did to save their pet) . However, Dr. Sullivan's first and third transplant dogs are doing well. If I had to do it all over I would have done nothing different. Dr. Sullivan gave us hope! Yes, it is disappointing that we spent a lot of money and put so much time and energy into locating Bailey's family members with the hope of finding her a donor match, that the transplant didn't work. You see, Bailey really did not have a suitable match--Clifford's stem cells were too close to Bailey's--transplants don't work so well with identical twins either--that Bailey did not develop any GVH disease, though too much is fatal, some is needed to kill off tumor cells. Because we only had a blood sample from Bailey's mother as her father is dead we were not really sure how close of a match Clifford was--98% was the guess.
The only thing that gives me comfort is in Bailey's memory I am putting my time and energy with others into putting a donor registry in place for dogs, cats as well, (this can be accomplished by using the pets that are donors at the many pet blood banks across the country) and see a transplant center built in W. Washington. Lymphoma is the third most common cancer in dogs. Work is being done on this as we speak, but as with everything it will take funding. Not a day goes by when I meet someone who either lost a dog to this terrible disease or knows someone who has. As more and more transplants are done cost should go down--most likely tranplants will be covered by pet insurance. Even though I had access to information on Bailey's family members, many pet owners do not. I did not have an easy time in locating her siblings--it took me over a year--sadly the only donor match she had proved to be too close of one which is why the transplant did not work.
Losing Bailey has been like losing my child--she was a family member. She will always be with me in my heart. Bailey was the best--a courageous little dog who wanted to live, but the lymphoma was stronger than both our wills for her to do so.. Her lifespan was cut in short by half. Every time I look at my wrist I see my tattoo bracelet of a single forget-me-not flower and the word Serendiptiy--her AKC registered name was Serendipitous Bailey Girl. I so do hope my dream becames a reality! I never want to lose another pet to this terrible disease again!
